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Feelings: Handle them before they handle you | Mandy Saligari | TEDxGuildford



Feelings: Handle them before they handle you | Mandy Saligari | TEDxGuildford

Feelings are what we have the most of and know the least about; handle them or they will handle you

Mandy’s first contact with the world of addiction, mental health and recovery was when she came into treatment in 1990. Her passion for therapy and its potential for change ignited here, inspiring her to make therapy her life’s work. Alongside a growing private practice Mandy always gave time to promote early intervention through lectures on addiction, emotional coping mechanisms and self-esteem as part of the PSHE (Personal, Social & Health Education) provision within independent schools. In 2008, with a busy private practice and many years of recovery under her belt, Mandy founded CHARTER Harley Street, an outpatient centre treating addiction and trauma using her pioneering model of care.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

View 35 Comments

35 Comments

  1. @aadithyam.d5037 on

    talk to yourself…because at the end what you need is all youuuu….create a relation with yourself,,,talk to your inner childish younger youuu,,,,,,,do it…..and before you go to sleep, write down the gratitudes of the dayyyy💗

  6. @dianekennelly2224 on

    That was fantastic insight into what had happened to me on the inside my whole life. The good girl helping my mother after my dad left, the people pleasing and caretaker role I took to "fix" 3 men while married to them. You've hit on so many emotions that I netted to look at. Thank you for reaching out, and sharing.

  10. @AWayOfLiving84 on

    And they were smiling and laughing at me when I was doing what I was doing. Then they say they were scared. Bulshit artists hey. They even said do it. They weren't laughing at the end

  15. @heyyyyyyitsmm on

    to be honest, one of the most relatable ted talk for this generation! Literally each sentence was a part of someone's life!!
    Hatts off! 😭✨

  26. @sarahdjinn593 on

    The self esteem bit is really helpful but the idea that "high maintenance individuals will always attract the compulsive caretaker" and that "the enablement allows somebody to be the emotional shock absorber, somebody to be sweeping up the pieces of somebody else's mistakes" is grossly reductionist. There are many interpersonal systems where the emotional shock absorber is the less outwardly "functional" person.

  27. @annettehansen6047 on

    I know my tolerance for negative emotions and stress has always been challenging and uncontrollable. I've been through therapy to help me. As far as anger is concerned I've never been violent like a lot of people I just built it up neither is good. It's always good to process your feelings about what and who is making you angry. Remember that these people will eventually get their karma so you don't need revenge. Plus you need to forgive these people and let karma do it's work. They are obviously miserable so try to have compassion not justifying and don't wish them harm.its also good to see your part and make amends. As far as sadness and depression is concerned, reach out for help from therapy and work on accomplishing the things that would make you happier and use resources so you don't give up. Also have gratitude for the good things in your life. As far as guilt and shame is concerned, better yourself and make amends. And with fear, worry, and anxiety have faith and trust that with assistance to help you out and keep you safe.

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