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36 Comments
Wish I could convey this to certain friends, but I don't think this would hit them the way I wish it would.
Okay! But even if you realize why you are the way you are then so what. ??? where you go from there ?
Im a Christian and just wanted to share a bit of biblical perspective. Not to argue about this or that regarding religion – but just to share.
We know that God and sin dont vibe together (understatement of the year) but you'll notice Jesus (who had the same will as God) also ate with prostitutes and the dejected. He made Himself known to the woman at the well, who was rejected by women (at the time they were considered less than men in that society) for her sexual sin, which obviously made her basically societally less than them
Instead of only telling her she done goofed, He reveals Himself as not just a man, not just a prophet, but the Son of God, which equates to sharing deity with God the Father, stating He was higher than any man or king of the earth. At the end of the day the woman at the well seemed like she was trying to affirm herself in some kind of way by hooking up with men when she just needed to know that she was loved, despite her flaws. Knowing she was loved by Christ had liberated her completely and Christ knew.
Dr. K's point here is part of what weaves into that. People will try to treat a symptom (behavior) but will not consider that such a symptom comes from a disease/something underlying.
Now instead of taking things at face value, honestly i just have asked friends "hey whats up? That wasnt like you." Did this with a close friend of mine. He'd been condemned by other friends foe something he did but as soon as he heard me ask that question he just started crying and opened up
Edit: a tiny bit more elaboration
My therapist says why is a toilet bowl question.
i find it unbearably painful to look at myself
Introspection is key. Even if times are challenging, you will survive the challenge and eventually thrive. Small steps.
Know thyself.
Good point
Is always and always gonna be destination not a declaration
Great points, Vivek! 🇺🇸
Where does Dr. K get his suits? 🤔
1000% this. I spent 10 years drinking wayyy too much alcohol knowing full well I was and trying to "stop drinking" not trying to find the root that was causing the insatiable urge in the first place! The addiction lied and said it was boredom, wintertime and nothing to do, down time on a rainy day etc. and things like this but the cause were in a totally different direction.
I had to first attach to the emotions that occurred prior to the need to drink, then find where in my life those emotions came from. When I solved those endemic issues far further into just the sea foam level of shallow introspection that was "boredom," I solved the need to drink at all.
Possibly the only good use of shorts that I've ever seen.
Fuck I love your stuff Dr. K . Thank you, huy ch que 🙌
A classic example of survivorship bias. Use anecdotal evidence of people who have done well
People take drugs when they are negative and sad
It sounds simple because it's too simple. You're forgetting about addiction being a loss of cognitive control while automatic processes (including bottom-up attention) are heightened + addiction able to have the same effect as traumatic injury. You don't simply need to do introspection (especially as it's a controlled process), often you first need cognitive remediation to have the ABILITY to do introspection.
I love Dr. K. And Stephen.
I’ve been asking myself this since late middle school. Still the same, still super depressed, still a failure. I’ve had minor success, but nothing I can call comforting
Totally agree!
I relapsed into drugs and alcohol a few years back after years of sobriety.
If I'd asked myself why, I would have seen that I was running away from the pain of grieving the loss of a very close family member 💔
I ask myself about what I am feeling these days and deal with that so I won't relapse again.
Ok so, I can look inwards at myself until the cows come home, but then what? Am I supposed to wait for some epiphany that I missed? It's all just information that looks good on a psyche profile
What if the way I am is adhd how do I change that 😢
🤙 Determinism is Freedom 🤙 🤙
What if you dont have the ability to introspect, like in case of bipolar rage, you dont know to stop. What do such special population do ?
Things like drinking are not problems – they're attempts at a solution
Feels impossible to me. Even after years of therapy.
Yes!!!!
This is such a key question in that it unlocks the trauma. As I listen to Dr. K, I nearly always learn something new and important, which helps me to advance towards greater freedom in my mental space.
"If the pain outways the pleasure, cut down on the pleasure", my deceased stepfather
Shame is what unconsciously drives our behaviors.
Slowing down for once and doing nothing is saving my life. Off alcohol and nicotine next is thc. Honestly been the hardest as I've become dependent on it for sleep.
This was such a good interview
But usually the answer is just: I just want it, no reason, I just want it.
I know why i am the way i am. How do i fix it???
happy belated dr k
very good point and very neglected !