How to Help Someone With Depression: 32 Tips for When They Don’t Want to Talk: Depression Skills #2
Do you want to learn How to Process Emotions and improve your Mental Health? Sign up for a Therapy in a Nutshell Membership, you’ll get access to all of Emma’s courses, workbooks, and a Live Q and A with 100’s of exclusive videos: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership
Get the course: How to Help: Peer-to-Peer Support Certification
https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/practical-psychotherapy-skills?utm_campaign=Sep%2018,%202018&utm_medium=Description&utm_source=YouTube
Depression can be debilitating, and when your friend, spouse, child, or someone else you care about has depression, you want to know how to help them. But what if they don’t want to talk about it? You want to know how to help them anyway!
In this video, I teach 32 ways to help someone with depression that don’t require you to talk about depression! These skills are essential for friends and parents of someone who is depressed.
Looking for affordable online therapy? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell
Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/?utm_campaign=09182018&utm_medium=Description&utm_source=YouTube
Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell
Sign up for my newsletter: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/free-resources
Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/
Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life’s direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
—-
Music licensed from www.Bensound.com or Artlist.io
Images from Freepik.com (premium license), Pixabay, or Wikimedia commons
30 Comments
How do you help your mother who is utterly depressed and wont do anything to get better. She had a stroke which i can only imagine how difficult it must be and its rendered her disabled and unable to get a job. since she lost her job she cant get health insurance, since she cant get health insurance she cant see a doctor to get better, and since she cant see any doctors that'll help her shes just stuck wallowing in self pitty. Anytime you try to mention something to help her in her situation she shuts down and cries because she just wants people that will listen to her complain endlessly about the same things. There is only so much you can take and listen to, you try to offer any different opinions or suggestions she gets mad and upset and cries.
I want to help her but i truly dont know how. She's applied for disability and its going to take upwards of 7 months to even get a yes or a no so in the meantime she is just unemployed and disabled unable to get any medical or financial help. My stepdad is doing his best to support the both of them and is severely struggling to help her financially and emotionally when she is literally weighing her entire emotional self on his shoulders. I cant help her financially either because I barely make enough money to take care of myself. We've looked into medicare and medicaid and we cant afford it. She cant excersie or go even walk, she has no friends due to old age and lack of social life, she cant do any hobies she enjoys because her disability. So literally all she can do is lay in bed watch TV and just wither away in depression. Its so difficult seeing ur mother just fall into this spiral of helplessness and depression. Financially, emotionally, and physically.
if anybody has any advice id gladly take it, id appreciate anything to be honest. Please help me, help my mom ><
My friend is currently in a depressive episode and they told me, that they don't want to talk about it. So I let them be. I text them every morning, telling them that they should rest if they feel like it, I tell them that I'm always here for them. They texted me today and said thank you.
If someone doesn't want to show you their wound, give them a hug. You can't force them to show you but you can make them feel less alone. Just don't be obnoxious
TL;DR – You better know the person exceptionally well before implementing ANY of these tips. Expect them to lash out, or break down. Don't take negative reactions to your attempts personally, we're not in a sensible head-space. Violence, or threats of violence, are never acceptable; seek help from a professional. Experiences may differ.
These are generalized tips; they don't work for everyone. Honestly, other than the furry animal; all of these tips would drive me even further away, maybe even make me start to despise or loath someone, even a close family member or friend. I have severe depression, and I'm speaking from experience.
You better be intimately knowledgeable about who you're trying to help, and you better be ready for them to lash out if you do the wrong thing, at the wrong time; hell, even the right thing at the right time might still lead to them lashing out. Depression can quickly turn into anger. I'm sure that's not the case for everyone, but it's my experience. Threats and physical violence is never acceptable, even in the heat of the moment, to themselves or anyone around them. They need a psychiatrist at this point, and should contact their doctor, or a doctor at a hospital, for a recommendation/referral. Not every therapist is the same, and it may take a few tries to find one that meshes well.
Anyway, that's my take on these tips.
What if every activity listed is now associated with a traumatic memory for one partner or both?
Its sad that I have to explain this to EVERYONE around me…. ALL THE TIME! It my 40th birthday tomorrow and I'm so depressed I just want Left Alone and why? Because the people that say they love me cause me the most pain because to them "I just need to get over it" and its my fault! Whos fault will it be when I snap? Huh? Mine I'm sure!
What if they r pushing u away? What if they are cutting off every means of communication with you.
Thanks ❤
It’s really hard and sad to see someone you love so much and care for struggle and go through this. I’ve been trying to educate myself more on how to help my long distance partner, and I really wish I could do some of the physical things this list of things mentions. I really wish I could be with my partner there and then when they are feeling down. Do you have any advice on how to help someone with depression, when you’re in a long distance relationship? Thank you!
Top 10 best videos on YouTube
Help
I have tried to encourage him to do many of the things suggested in this video but he's not intetested. He just feels annoyed with me suggesting them.
I watched another video made by a young man who has suffered depression. He said to always be there for him and never expect anything in return; unconditional love. I feel thats all I can do.
I'm crying so hard rn tysm. my girlfriend has always struggled with suicidal thoughts and she never talks to me and I'm so scared I'm gonna lose her. I've been doing everything I can.
Thank you so much ❤
I've never been that close to him, but my uncle is going through this badly at the moment. Doesn't work, he hasn't really gotten out of bed for 7 days. My dad goes to him almost every day just to help him with things. God it's hard and I'm across town so it's hard to see him.
I saw this man crying at work and saying that no one loves him. I know that his mom recently died. I believe he is grieving and misses his mother badly. I wonder what should I do if someone feels chronic grief.
Yes lol ivebeen struggling with depression for a really really long ass time now and I feel like giving up on my fight at times but not always
excellent for single parenting my 3 kids.. thank you!!
Yes but the issue is when they say no to all of these things and shut you out. What do you do then?
This is awful advice.
When I was in school, I had to look my teacher in the eyes and it kinda helped it. Help me talk about it because I knew I was safe and someone cared about me. It’s good look someone in the eye I know it’s scary, but I promise it would help someone in the eye can help you comfortable try staring at their forehead. I could also help but it’s better if you look right in the eye.❤
You must be kidding…Can not even come out of bed.
My elder sister has depression, although she has gone through treatment and all yet she still suffers with panic attacks and flashbacks.
In her depression journey, she did open up to me and our bond grew too strong. But unfortunately, she had a lot of expectations from me and failing them meant "you knew it all, yet you did this" to her. I tried so hard to meet them, and trust me, it was all going well, until I too got lost in my own life.
Now, I see her suffering again, it kills me. And I know Ive lost her this time. I feel guilty.
Can someone pls help me how to win her trust again.
It would mean alot to me.
It's so hard to see my best friend suffer from unexpressive habits. I get really concerned when she doesn't talk about it at all. And then it only comes out when unconscious or drunk. Which feels very dangerous to me. I hope i can make her feel better and let her feel that it's okay if life doesn't go your way.
https://youtu.be/4O9chZh5Zms?si=mqtzj0xzMo9jZlu5
This really helped me
Thank you for your valuable inputs
So I basically have to be a fucking super hero e never get stressed about this?
I ask because, even though I don't have depression, I'm still very much human
Sending love to everyone in here and to their person who is struggling with this. There’s always light to be found ❤
Most of those can’t work with long distance relationships 😕😕😕
Thanks for this helpful video!
I have a brother going through extreme depression, and I feel scared and worried all the time Bc I’m scared I will lose him, as he’s already doing self harm, and I’m the only one who knows. I’m going to educate myself as much as possible so I can make a brighter and happier life for him